the last salam

i ended my night shift around eight yesterday which was an hour late because of some reasons.i said goodbye to my colleague and started walking back home through the peaceful,breezy morning of my neighborhood.the weather seems happy.it was a bright and sunny day.as i stroll down the lane,holding a plastic bag containing a lunch box of last night's sahur meal,i saw a group of chinese lady's performing their tai chi,a dog digging a hole in the ground for some reason and some people exercising their way to a healthy life all happen in the playground.such a beautiful sight,such a lovely community.

as i reach home,i saw a friendly neighbor of mine watering her flowers on her lawn.a gentle women with her hijab down to her waist.our house are bordered by only one other house.a lady which i haven't spoke to for a long time.mainly because i was away for almost a year,studying in a matriculation college.when i was younger,she used to teach me to recite the al-Quran.what a lovely memory.so i greeted her.we chat for a while.she asked me where will i be heading for the next phase of my life.it will be the UiTM that i've got offered earlier this month.she congratulated me,and i thanked her.feeling a bit tired because of not sleeping for a whole night,i decided to return home and i ended our conversation with a simple salam.

i ended my night shift around nine this time around because i had to take an overtime for some reasons.i said goodbye to my colleague and started walking back home through a pretty hot morning of my neighborhood.it was too bright and too sunny.probably because it's already closing to noon.the script of my journey home had been altered a little.no activity in the playground as i expected because the day is getting hotter.as i approach home,i saw my neighbors gather in front of my house.i felt a bit worried because it seems like it's not a happy gathering.as i getting nearer,the crowd started leaving the scene.as i glad it's not my house they were at,i felt even more worried as it was actually the lady's house.my dad come to me and whisper the bad news.

i never thought yesterday's little chat was the last.but i'm glad i stopped and have that chat.and i also glad it is a day in the holy ramadhan month.a perfect day that everyone will envy to blow their last breath.and she did.she deserve this day.alhamdulillah

same self

as time goes by,as the year changes,as we age,we must admit that we are one step forward towards maturity.maturity in my definition can be best describe as being able to think and decide in anything that you face thoroughly in the best way you could to benefit yourself and other people around you that may be affected by that decision.

i don't know about others but i don't think i will ever be a mature person,until when i need to of course.i don't know why but sometimes i just can't help it but to make a fool of myself.for example,last year my late grandmother past away in my house because she's not well enough to take care of herself.and my whole family was so sad.but her time has come,no one can change that.i still misses her until today.and at her funeral,i remember it was a very sunny day.after the burial had done my aunt hand me an umbrella to hold for the imam to shade him.and so i open the umbrella upward because there are people all around but i didn't look up because it was just too shiny.i just push the umbrella open and i did wonder why is it taking so long?perhaps because it is long.and then 'puff'.the umbrella opened inversely.can you image the state of that umbrella?it was opened upward.and i was like..damn..why here?why now? and then slowly i pun the the umbrella down like an innocent person and just sit there quietly.and then after we got home my aunt decided to tell that incident and everyone burst into laughter.

yeah.i'm a clown inside.i will always be.even in the most inappropriate times.it's just in my nature.but in the bright side,everyone felt less sad about my grandmother's death.more or less,it did cure our feeling.

so i guess what i'm trying to say is that it is alright to be yourself.b

e the personality that is already in your dna.do not ever change if someone else say different.if people ask you to change ask them to change themselves first.change to accept,not object.you will most absolute regret if you didn't be who you are.be truth to yourself.you can't lie to yourself,it's like denying you have a soul.

i just turned 19 today and i pray for the same me for years to come :)